I realize how very lucky I am, in some ways. Sure it sucks to have breast cancer and to undergo tests, surgery, chemo and rads, plus whatever else is coming down the pike.
On the other hand, this gives me a chance to think and rest and to read, to learn. So that is lucky. I don't work, I have a leave of absence for my PhD and I have no fixed plans, other than to get well.
Of course I suspect i will become bored at times and no doubt the various meds will wreck havoc with my brain... This week of predndisone, for example has fogged my head and made me a little distracted, more than a little distracted. Although today is far better than yesterday.
And since this is my first cycle of chemo, I am waiting for the first big things to happen here. Change of taste, tiredness and hair loss. I am really tired... And i don't have a great appetite, but i still have my hair. Till next week.
But i am organizing myself here and arranging myself so that I have amusing things to do, and visitors to look forward to.
And M, of course has been wonderful. Nothing quite like the love and care of a good man.
So yeah this sucks. And yet.... I am determined to make the best of it. And to live in the moment as much as possible..because what else can we be sure of?
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